so..

so tell me..what do you guys feel when you're at my blog? nwaes i had a cacated time with fik had aestee hich and darlin today...i think me and aestee were like bein ridiculed by the guys when we hurried them while they were eatin their meals...but..who cares..haha watchin the fireworks at that spot was breathtakin...its as if it wad rainin fireworks on me...the only thing that spoiled it were the stupid comments comin from the guys mouth..haha so aestee..our so called 'double dat ' jadi jugak...hmmm do you sometimes feel that some people are just tryin to put you down in every way they can? its like..they cant seem to see you being happy or something...i dont know how to explain..but ya...go figure...im feeling damn pissed now...pragmatism is soo de new black...ok its gramatically wrong i think...ok fuck...im dead..i just realised that i gotta like take bout 3 econs modules every sem and one french so dat means 4 modules under programme account which i only have 600 pts every sem..which equals to im dead and not possible...okk someone please enlighten me on how many points we'll get every sem?

got it!!

yay!!! i got french and my econs!!!! *PHEW* ok now gotta worry bout the otha three...*cross fingers*

stressed

ok its officially pimple season for me...f**k lah!!! even durin my period i get no more than two lah!!! now i have like a little less den 32832987463563214 billion i tink...but seriously..haiz...i need to get clarins...de damn nus system is to be damned...cannot access my nus email account...sobs...how how how!?? i hope i got wad i bid for...the welcome tea ceremony wad actually full of colour fun and laughter but too bad i couldnt concentrate cos i forgot to close bid...so me bein diana..10 mins before five which is the end of the close biddin session i ran out of de audi to borrow someone's com and jus spread my 600 points for my econs and french module..haizz....buang points lah....now im points-broke...and now im stressed in case i still cant get my modules...urrgh!!nwaes lucky i finished biddin 1 min before it closed...phew!oh well...on a happier note...i spent a good 6 hrs at the airport with syaz and yana....more like overnightin lah...after sendin kak rai off dat is...while waitin for her to go me pipi ita kak aishah syaz and yana actually revealed more ghostly encounters that happened on our second trip...plus de fears too...ok if you guys wanna know..tag me...its really scary ok...when i think again..we really went through A LOT before durin and after the trip...im so glad all of us are super safe and sound now and i thank god for that every single day...really ah..the whole trip was a blessing in disguise...hehe smart GOD...and oh ya i met mummy rose just now in town while walkin with aidil!! so so happie to see her!!! she was doin her last minute shoppin before goin for her 6 mth stint in bombay...so sad....but so fun...its nice seeing her again..i still remember the ferst meetin she came for...charlize theron haha...oh well...i miss the kids...i really do....i think bout them EVERY SINGLE NIGHT...i wonder if asi does also...i know the rest of them do...sadness....nwaes...change topic...delifrance's bistro dishes are a must-try ok....but be warned....for the one i tried...the portion size is enormous...and super delicious!!really...go try ok people...the price though comparably steep,is justified my the portion and the taste....sedap..ok?!ok...oh well..me and aidil went to THAT CD SHOP for the first time...ok dont laugh lah...but we found that they have absolutely the bestest cd compilations on earth!!im soo like gonna go there but one cd each month or whatever depends on how poor i am...we got this like arabic songs thingy called harem's secret:emotional and sensual oriental sounds and compilation of the mo'horizons songs...damn nice!! bohemian...ahhh its a recomendation...they have like really a lot of good stuff there...ok done....will post pics up next!

relief teachin

why is it that when you dont want something,it'll always come to you..and when you desparately need it...all sorts of nonsense circumstances will prevent you from gettin it or its just plain not there...ghernowvytjytuithj*(&&*%#%^$%^@#@^..urrgh...two examples...yesterday...me asi and joshua were like waitin for the bus 14 to go ikea...after like forever we decided to take a taxi...and guess wad...sure LOTSA taxis came but ALL were either on call or goin to de weirdest places like punggol and geylang...njrivwgtrnnqeljgc....

next instance...when i had NUTHIN to do,no schools called me for relief teachin...NONE!! but now when i have like mobot, for three CONSECUTIVE days kent ridge called...OI!! aper lah!!! im soo pisseddddddddddd..............

crazeee

ok i tink i saw de whole world at matriculation thingy just now...the queue was BEYOND!!!it couldnt get any longer....its as far as the eye can see..really...i saw lots of my fairsians there...my 2c and 4c classmates...ahh...best times of my sch life...nwaes all the way i was with shiqin and samantha who's actually farhana's friend..small world...got my laptop...and the "goody" bags which could vomit out their contents any time...so tak-glamour..and then...like FINALLY!!!i got down to really scruntinizing almost all the modules and get down to choosing them and roughly writing out my timetable...(assumin those modules i bid for are successful and i get all my tutorial slots)...totally migraine ah tryin to cramp everything from 10 to 2 everyday cos i dont wanna wake up so early and also cos i wanna do mobot from 3 to 7...
to all the NUS undergrads,all the best for timetable plannin.....
to asi and aestee thanxs for ur concern...im lettin everything flow...as in come wad come may...and aestee...im startin sch officially on the 8th...dis sat fireworks??....

the end

ok scrap dat post...things are partially ok...he didnt call me...i did...after tikam tikam...i hate givin in...but hmmm relationship is on hold....im still super fed-up...i tink if i were to explain why to anyone they'll think im like petty or sth..i dunno lah...is it really my fault? oh whatever....no really....whatever....oh mans..im goin mad....where're my frens.......i dunno..sometimes i hate to bother frens with my problems....ill feel as if in throwin a heavy load on top of them...but somehow i like listenin to people's problems....not that im a sadist lah...jus that i feel as if my own burdens are lifted if i can lend them a listenin ear or u know..jus help...ok tell me im crazy....urrgh...must be de uni modules...

today came..at last! 10/11 of the whole team came...too bad jolene couldnt make it but still!! its not easy havin everyone of us together...we're still de same ol' ruggies whom i had soo many fond memories with...otha den verlin lay and sari..we're all super duper fair now..haha....gone were the days when we kept complainin how much like dayaks we look like..hahaha....dis thurs girls...we shall kick our juniors ass!!! ahh cant wait to wear my boots and fbts and tee and get all muddy..i hope it'll be a muddy field...yaysss!! den went to esplande with yam..catched up on life and stiffs..its been eons since we did dat ya? it was a good session..hee plus de fantabulous fireworks and alll!!!!!!!!! wowness...btw...sighss...sometimes i jus dont understand aidil...but i still love u...

"wad doesnt kill you makes u stronger.." its true...sometimes i wonder why im so patient...to hadri..to my sister...to some other people...or some other things...its amazing the amount of shit i can take in...but its weird u know...im soo not patient with myself...i set such freakin high standards for myself and i expect to reach it...i HAVE to reach it...and if i dont ill look like i jus half-died...and ill behave like it...de disappointment felt cannot be described with jus mere words...im so scared i cant make it...ok dat was vague...oh well nuff said...

for now...i cant wait to meet up with my girls....ferst up is de touch ruggies outin tmrw...ahh at last WHOLE TEAM will be there...omg...and next of course is my minahs outing...im so glad sarah's back safe and sound...and now cant wait to meet all of them and jus talk and talk...and slack and talk more...i miss them sooo much...=) ok?? here dat girls!!!??

disappointment

im such a disappointment...to my mum..and myself especially...i promised myself...but why did it happen again...gave him de surprise...he was surprised...oh well...sometimes i feel that he's bein so immatured...no hmmm i dunno wads de apt word for it..is it ns? y do we always put de blame on ns?? not as if ure disabled wad...ah fuck lah..basically im disappointed at myself...its all my fault lah...i deserve to burn in hell....fuck...its always me tryin to do sth bout it...makin it happen...wad'll happen when i start sch? de relationship's jus gonna rot maybe...stop askin me for solutions to every problem lah! im not superwoman ok...ive tried lah...if ure scared of ur mum den y get into de rela in de ferst place ....phreak!...ive had enuf..

disappointment

he has a super duper charmin smile...de dimples!!! omg....hais..he's sooo hot...dont u think so?? de eyes..sensual...*swoons*...ok sorry dis is just a phase im goin thru..hahahahahaa...oh well...shit...he's hot fullstop...ok nwaes...sth's wrong with aidil...he's soo....hmmm nvm...haha....cannot say....ohhhhhhhh i cant wait to paint my room...its gonna be less bright..for once..hehe....nwaes to my ruggies....dis sat 3 where??? how come no one msg meeeeeeeeee.....boohooo....eh yam wad pizza hut?? of all places seh..hahaha.....can we go somewhere nicer to chill..hahhaa.....

excited!

im soo excited cos i just finished my secret project for him..haha...it look my a whole of six hrs to do it..im sooooo excited!!! i hope he likes it....i cant wait for sunday..heheh...nwaes im goin to geylang with su later..wad a pity asi cant follow...enjoy de camp!! ok on a more serious note...i totally dunno which modules to bid for..i mean i do have some i wanna take but de singapore studies..like huhh?? im not interested in any..hahaha...and i tink i shall take up french level one since there's no exam and i get to learn de basic for the comin tour de france with de minahs...haha...and talkin bout de minahs...i cant wait for sarah to come back...so can go wild wild wet...haha yes...dee if ure readin we're goin ok!!!nwaes i miss the aceh kids...the "if we hold on together " song was playin jus now ..so sad....i wonder how my darlins are doin there..haiss...

today was a rather interesting day...went to woodlands library with su and stressed ourselves out talkin bout uni..and then tried to destress ourselves by eatin durins at like de backlanes of causeway point..
then went to meet up with asi and aidil for baybeats...it was super geylang lah there(u know wad i mean..haha),,the highlight was of course the fireworks!!it was beyond belief!! we were at the rooftop terrace when it happened...beautiful...

then went to meet aestee...haiz...i dunno whether to laugh or cry...i super like pity her...and i cant help but notice the uncanny resemblance of hich to aidil...not the face lah...the way they handle relationships...omg...its like de same!! im lazy to state why but he and hich and aestee shud know why..haha...but hich is the funnier and more violent version...i cant believe he did wad he did...astagahss...aestee if ure readin this...i pity you but ya...haha u know....its amazing lah....and sorry to have brought up the chalet matter in the first place ya....

and yes i miss him...so fast....and yes i hate nus...

cpf

like finally i sent my cpf form with su..i hope it gets processed...then went to mendaki...and then met up with asi...its been soo long since i last saw her...hehe...followed her get her ultra-kewl-lookin but not-so-kewl soundin tablet...lol..hahaha....as usual..got lost amidst the constructions goin on...the whole of smu loooks like lotsa mrt station cramped up together..haha then we like went to the coffee club nearby....den we like totally perasan we were in italy but with old school music playin in de background..haha its always fun hangin out with asi cos when she loosens up she's really fun...hahah...i miss her already...ok ill like work out the shortest way from nus to smu ah u do de same..hahaha.....we must must must must still meet up ok!!! together with sarah and su and dee....and den i met up with aidil for dinner after his hockey den he gotta book in back den tmrw book out again....merepek system lahhhhhhhhhhhh....oh well....

i miss fikri...dunno why..oh i teringat the buaya biawak game which i sucked at cos..ahem..im slow...and teringat how he's sooo enthu bout it and all otha games...like he's super smart like ok hard to explain..he's only ten btw...ohh and i remember playin scissors paper stone with them den de sepak sepak tangan and mubin was like intimidated by karim who's 1/4 of his height i tink...lol....i guess its jus thought bout them and my stint there that's keepin me goin...haizz....patience....

miss youuu

"if i were to be given one last wish before i die..it would be to see your smile and hear your laughter...happie 31st anniv darlin.." awwwww....heh tho i know if that were de situation he'd ask to see his parents...but ya..nwaes...im touched so i got pissed at him for sth..bodohness...nwaes....happie monthsry stitch...love you you...YOUUUUU....

the otha highlight was of course the dinner bu the beach at marina promenade...thanx guys....that was really sweet..heh....ya thats half of our table...our group really bonded during over this dinner...oh well....i love my facis..hehe....kak sarinah is jus soo sweet ...oh well...i dunno how im gonna cope with uni life lah...the forum really stressed me out...but ya im tryin not to...i really agree on the part bout malay muslims undergrads havin an obligation whether we like it or not, to serve the malay community..sth like that...we're gonna be role models and like our actions will reflect on the rest of the community..you know....if u think bout it..its true...die.. haha...there's a lot more lah...i mean the question bein raised were so articulately presented..they're actually obvious questions with no answers but we jus macam like lazy to ask..sth like dat..u know...they answers given were sooo apt and sufficient and soo motivational(if there's such a word..haha)..ya so me and samsiah were stressed up..haha...

these are the girls in my group...de one on the left is kak sarinah which is my group's faci..well basically the camp didnt have an impact on me..i dunno why...i really appreciate the hardwork of the seniors tho cos i know how stressful it can get to plan for a camp or just some event...but ya...i feel no warmth from most of the seniors tho..haisness...disappointment...kak sarinah...ahmad..shikin...aishah and syahidah (both of whom did some cookin with me) and the other syahidah were ok tho...but dunno why ah...oh well..but hte night walk was super freakin scary to de max..like scary...oh my god...the pontianak and the pocong at block AS7 level six...ohh and kak hani..thanks..haha tho you were only sweepin the floor i tink u were de most popular lah..haha..but it was scary..i nearly cried when the pontianak pointed to me to come up..thank god samsiah was there...nwaes...ya things happen for a reason lah so i think rite....like what i got out of this camp are friendships with sam(we needed that rite? so long!!) marly...zalikha,nnora...hidayah...and the rest of you lah..azmeer...ya im kinda shagged now so im typin in a haphazard manner...

fantastic four is a superb show!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant wait for its sequel....its quite a hilarious movie too...hahha i love love the show...its sooo cccccoooooollllllll....i wanna have special powers too...anyone wanna join me?? haha...

nwaes...its gettin harder and harder to part with him...awwww... haha really..cant believe im sayin this lar...but oh well...we were like talkin bout those times we were studyin together for o levels...ahhaha we alwaes fight bout wad topics are gonna come out seh and we took de same subs by de way..haha...and the first real date after the o's on my berthdae to err...esplanade somewhere there...lol..damn farnie...kental to de max...haha sweet sweet memories...i cant believe i actually tot he's a quiet guy...wth...he's a tak-nak-kalah idiot lah...i mean loook at dat fringe...muahhahaha...

nwaes glad the problem's been solved...rehana..if you like want me to help you in any way jus say it and say it straight to my face ya...thankss.....

till den!

look at dis pic...hahahahaahha

hahaha...it looks damn scary like that but if u guys r like wonderin what that is...its actually my hand....i went for a manicure while waiting for aidil and decided on a really dark red...i like..hehe...nwaes...i jus found out that safsa's captain is hicheal..sorrie..hahaha paiseh...oh well...do you know that there's like a new mp3 brand LEmon..haha but know wad..its freakin cheap..and u can see music videos lah!!! its super light and compact and it comes in green!! and a 512mb one costs only 199 bucks with like a gazillion freebies included!!but den rite if i were to get it..i wont be able to study in peace..haha..soooo..tak jadi lah..but oh well.........

stuupig hockey!

hgreivfgnuvrhbvgq to hockey lah!!!!
waste my freakin time preparin de damn food...dbvevfbguregqjhb...urrgh....you think im like free 24/7 is it..go meet at 7 my foot! hcdyewygfvfyveqcybgqvyr!!!!! but since he kept on sayin its not his fault...who's de blardy captain of de safsa team ah??!! can dont tell him last minute not!!!!!!

ill jus meet my aunt den...haisness...

nwaess....on a happier note...i totally dig my new layout!!! its soooo meeeeeeeee......ahhh it took me like 87328635167804368764803 yrs to find the purrrfect picture...haha thanks khairul for the full stop suggestion btw...and i nearly went kero lookin through the pics at getty images when the picture is like in my folder...its actually a picture taken durin the outin with the aceh b2b team..yes yes thats my loyal havaianas and a bag i sewed out of wad-su-called an outrageously-patterned kain..haahah nwaez..check this site out...its super colourful...

ok till den! (please comment on what you think is good or bad bout my new layout k)muacks!!

its times like this when i wish i can just go back to the simplicity of it all and just stay there...or at least just relive the moments there...it was pure jubilance..wad i felt when i was there...
nwaes yana dis picture is jus honey sweet..thankssss...and i notice how u tried to put our faces in between our fav kids..haha..

when's the next meeting guys...

nwaes to YOU,i really dont know what to say..i know you dont know what you want me to do either...i mean...ure jus like tellin me after 3 yrs this is what you thought my motive was..like hello??!! im sorry but you couldve clarified with me first...and please jus try to get over him...you know even if im not with him he's not goin back with you rite...id love it if you guys can set your differences aside and be friends like before...

till den

hais

i couldve sworn she was talkin bout me...haiz...i know what she must be feelin..to be betrayed by a friend you so trust...or at least that's wad she thought happened..if only she'll jus confront me or jus say its me she's talkin bout i couldve told her the whole story....my gawd...

if its me u were talkin bout,u called me names...when you dont even know what actually hapened..you actually thought id do such a thing...urrrghhh...ure my FRIEND lah...

sad sad sad...dissapointed...

i miss touch

i miss playin touch rugby...hais..but its kinda impossible for me to play anymore...yeah...

i really miss playin with my teammates..those who know wad im gonna do next..without me tellin them...those who're immune to my weaknesses and encourage my strengths (which is not a lot by the way...jus cheatin the opponents..)...those who can rugby ooh rugby ahh with me..those whom i warmed up with takin that opportunity to catch up on the day's events and complain on the trainins and how dark and dayak-like we've become...

i miss dayah,sari,lay,yam,fana,jing2,verlin,jolene,hazel,hongmei...i still am wishin all 11 of us can play again..for whatever reason or for no reason at all..

i really really wanna play for lion red and be committed to it but i just cant...yes its the tudung issue..ya easy to say can take off when playin and put on again after that but its not as easy as it looks like...wad bout wad my mum's gonna say...wad are people gonna say...can i cope?? the timings clash with my religious class times...urrghh!!!...

yes yes i may not be the best player around...im how slow in all manner...how am i gonna catch up when ive missed half a yr's trainins....

i miss the kenduri's with my minah kampungs and suzy and farah and the tok penghulu ross...i miss the adrenaline when u score a try..when uve executed a succesful move..when u dive with all ur might to touch ur opponent..i miss fallin down..i miss the "..swing left..swing left...I SAID SWING LEFFFTTTT!!"...i miss the dongs,lausais,splits,twisters......

im soo glad darli and sheila and nid forced me to join touch instead of hockey...seee things happen for a reason...

oh well...we'll see how...till den...

i wanna look like this....how?? how?? hahhaa...

i was dumbfounded and i still am..

i cant believe i actually thought bout backing out in the ferst place...

can you guys see three happie ecstatic faces there...u wanna know why...?!?!?!

ferst..we saw raul..yes..the raul...the funny thing was...he was walkin beside us all along and we didnt notice till he walked in front and of course..the hair gave it away...haha...managed to take a couple of shots of course..haha..

then we shooked hands with muhammad ali..omg..his wife was jus soo sweet...she must've took pity on us like so kesian gotta do work so she went up to me and su and said "hey u guys wanna meet him??" aaarrrrgghhhhh....we jus like nodded our heads in a mazement..and he shooked our hands...and of course..smiled...omgggggg....

but yes we saw lotsa vvvvvvvvips as well..like popov,prince albert,princess ann,tony blair and wife,the ioc president,the king and queen of spain,the pm of spain,some other gold medalists....but yeah sad thing we missed beckham and ian thorpe and hilary clinton...still..hahahahah....

i tink i must send a thank you card to dee's mum for introducing us to this...heee.....

till den...

it was an exceptionally good day out...

ferst went for lunch with fiq and mum at swensens then shoppin at robinsons...

then went to meet up with aidil for our a lot like love which i had to practically crane my neck to watch the show...(first row lah..) but the show was saccharine sweet...altogether now..awwwwwwwwww..haha...yes than we had our usual durian glutinous rice at bali thai...its a guarantee remedy for an out-of-sorts behaviour...heh...nwaes...then we actually took those neo prints...omg...it was like some intensive cardio exercise thingy...up centre down centre down up down centre...(as in where the camera was lah) but..super fun..haha made the most noise i think...aidil as usual kept pushin me to get his and only his face in all the pictures....bodoh...nwaes...ya still now i miss him...hehe...cant wait for dis sat....hee.....

sweet

de lunch with aidil was super fun! its been quite a while since we felt that way didnt we? we needed that..haha...ok im talkin bout bein super super childish and doin nonsensical stuffs...like queuin up for the briyani when the queue was like 48735643651985647647 miles long...haha....but ya..worth it..haha can i tell everyone who's your biggest crush?? hahaha....but then again i think the whole of acjc knows already..haha..."maria mariaaaa........." hehe...dont worry lah..i think other than su and dee and asi and sarah and khairul...no one else reads dis chocolate bar..hehehhe...

lastly...its the doa selamat for kak rai....its alwaes nice when we have the whole team together..its pure magic how all of us of diff age grps diff backgrounds...diff weaknesses and strengths can just bond soooo strongly and click soo well together..its a pity khai and saif and asi and su and irna wasnt there...ohh and mubin!!! hhaaha..nearly terlupa..haha...we've gone thru earthquakes and blackouts together...oh and huge waves almost 1.5 times our height..haha...

thennn..its reunion after like literally eons!! sorrie yana and fana..hee...nwaes..sakura really pissed me off to de max...nwaes..back to de point..the conclusion is..we're still as cacat and noisy as ever...haha...love u guysss...

todae's been super packed....ferst had IOC meetin in de mornin...ahhh...im at last enlightened bout our slack roles...seriously its good that we're the youngest volunteers....haha slack...yes dee we'll cut hair mondae ok!!!! dont forget...and all de best for your prac! and su's lookin "artificially" innocent there...hahaha!!!

ahh

"dont cry over anyone who wont cry over you.." - anon


there's a web of confusion up there in my brain...the more i try to untwine it..the more intertwined it gets...and the more intertwined it gets the more nauseous i get..and the more nauseous i get... the more irritable i am...and the more irritable i am..the more im not bein myself...

till den..