disappointment

im such a disappointment...to my mum..and myself especially...i promised myself...but why did it happen again...gave him de surprise...he was surprised...oh well...sometimes i feel that he's bein so immatured...no hmmm i dunno wads de apt word for it..is it ns? y do we always put de blame on ns?? not as if ure disabled wad...ah fuck lah..basically im disappointed at myself...its all my fault lah...i deserve to burn in hell....fuck...its always me tryin to do sth bout it...makin it happen...wad'll happen when i start sch? de relationship's jus gonna rot maybe...stop askin me for solutions to every problem lah! im not superwoman ok...ive tried lah...if ure scared of ur mum den y get into de rela in de ferst place ....phreak!...ive had enuf..