Note to self.

I have so many things I want to purge out of me.

I do not like it when one is in charge or has a vey imporant role to play in a project BUT isnt there on execution day itself due to work ( in which leave can be applied for ).

I am probably not the best choice to go to if you need a listening ear because I feel weird when I dont try and say something to salvage your situation and so when I talk I will give stupid comments.Sorry.

Maybe my problem is I lways feel the need to salvage things when maybe some things are better left like that.

My mum says that Im gullible and I do not know if I can deny that.

I am very self conscious now.

I am very pressurized everytime to excel not because of me,myself and I.

I just realised that I have just just talked about myself only.

I am going to become a ghost tomorrow at SMU.

My amount of patience is depleting with Aidil.

I want durians.

Sometimes I do not think that I am myself.

Why are Singaporeans in particular so particular about formal education? Why is it so hard for us to defer/stop formal education if we are given a very rare opportunity to do what we have always wanted when we know that it is going to be an unregrettable decision?


Why is it that sometimes we preach about our religion like we know so much about it but we dont practise it?

Why do we have to wait for the 'right' time?

When is the 'right' time?


Why is it that even though we know that the world is ending soon and that we do not have much time left and we talk about being scared yet efforts are little in wanting to change?


Why is it that we know what should be priority but yet we dont prioritise it?


Why is formal education so important to us just because 'some others' made it important?


Why are some people so smart and intelligent formal-education-wise but yet so stupid and ignorant as a 'person'.

What has the world become?

Why are the number of catastrophes escalating?

Why do we still go about living our lives as if we have many more years to live?

Why do we lie to ourselves?

Why do we tell ourselves that we want to change one night and get back to square one the next?


Why do we fear others/ourselves/thepast/present/future etc. but we dont fear HIM?

Even if we say we do why dont we act like we are?

Why do we say we fear death but we dont act like we are?


Why do we lie to ourselves?


Why cant I stop thinking about what others might be thinking when there are other better things worth thinking about?

Why do we lie to ourselves?



Why cant others know our weaknesses?

Because we cant handle them?

Because they may use it against us?

Are we really that weak?

Who are we kidding?


Because when there's no one left, you still have yourself and your faith to hold on to so build up on that. At the end of the tunnel you have to answer to yourself . No one but yourself.

Why again do we lie to ourselves?


Why do we lie to ourselves that we are not lying to ourselves?




"Breathe (2 AM)"

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

Boutique

As I was telling someone I think Im gonna work towards a Cupcake Boutique... How thats gonna happen I am not sure but I do know we will need 15k each said Asi... Im so excited! I havent tried baking any before but from the look of the recipes I'd say they dont look so bad... only... Havent hands on yet... Colourful surroundings check! But oh wells plans are nothing but just mere plans 'nuff said... I really wonder when that plan can be materialised... I still love doing my photojournals... I guess the designs I make mirror myself in a way and the unsatisfactory results as I go bout making them can only stem from them not being me.... After which Ill alter the sometimes really minor details...

But as for now one can only dream... Or can I? Semester 3 is going to start soon and I really seriously wonder what my thoughts and feelings now will translate into... Im really done studying hard.... Its time to study smart... Mugging alone will get me somewhere but it wont get me there ; the peak of what I really am capable of... But how am I going to do that! But all I know is that I have to make HIM happy and proud of me and not to do stupid things which will further jeopardise my grades... I think I dont appreciate HIM enough... I wanna feel how I did back in secondary 4 when getting the O level results... It wasnt fantastic but goodness I was ecstatic! And only HE knows why I was...

Where I come from grades do not matter as much as life does... Generally... If there's one thing I learnt during summer vacation ( not that we have seasons here) its that grades matter but they are not everything... Note to self: Dont just say but still act like the world has ended... *bummer*


Im peeved! By a few things... But I hate last minute changes but I just made a last minute change due to peoples' last minute changes and info... Damn it!

Or whatever... Its not gonna spoil my week... It better not...


Ok lah back to cupcakes.... Ok nothing else....
I feel like eating macaroni and cheese or fettucine alfredo... Anything creamy and cheesy lah...


Aiya I hate this depressing feeling!!!

Anyways Im on a finding recipes spree... Haha... And looking at their tantalising shots!

Watched Oprah's yesterday and today but yesterday's episod got me thinking like what the hell am I doing in Singapore!?!?!??!!? Hahahaha.... At that point I wish I was born a Kuwaiti ( whatever you call them ) ...... At that point only lah.... Singapore is stilll definately a safer place to live in for now....


Ok before my entry gets all negative-ish I shall end now! I slacked at home the whole day today!! With Garfield who slept like 95% of the time... No wonder so gemuk !

Ok buhbye people and its friday tomorrow for the working people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Muah muah!

randomcuthairdae

Met Asi and Di today for pizza Spizza's.... My new addiction these days....Anyways Di's gift is sooo cute! Haha and Asi got the the huge-est Hershey KISS(es) ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The thing above was on my lap and I dont exactly have a stick-thin thigh to begin with ok...But we didnt manage to eat it sadly but she had better keep it for us.... =) Anyways after that I did the most impromtu and unplanned decision ever! I WENT TO CUT HAIR! Haha since Diyanah wanted to and I had time to kill ( padahal had to go sch) she was like come with meeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... And so I did...But it was soooo much funnn especially since it was with fellow Di at a place which really met my standards... Deco was AWWWEESOMEE!!!!!!!!!!!! Black black damask prints wallpaper black chandelier leather seats GREAT massage with the shampooing (cute guy who shampooed my hair who was wearing the shoes from Pedro Aidil wanted) ... What I didnt exactly favour was the fact that the guy who cut my hair looks like he was rushing like mad but I mean its not his fault lahh... And I got 3 people to blowdry my hair! Haha I think the blowdryin was longer than the cutting itself...Not my fault ok that I have naturally curly hair! But I sooo love the place that I think Ill go there erytime I need a haircut...Location is just perfect... Its like visually pampering myself..Haha my haircut will need a few days for the effect to see so will comment on that later... But thanks Di for pujuking me to come! Fantastic company! Hahaha....

Went for a picnic with Aidil at Sentosa in which I cooked Spicy Prawn Aglio Olio... My first try was a success I must say thanks to Rachel Ray's recipe... We made an impromtu decision ( again!) to go on the Luge ..... It was sooo freaking fast I nearly fell over during the bends like 100% of the time lah! But t'was fun and not to mention sunny hot! =)

Finally got to see my minah-kampungs-in-fbt-shorts-and-tanktops....=) I missed missed missed being around them really and I wished the date didnt hafta end so fast... Were reminiscing bout rugby times and how we were soo darn fit last time how we were soooo farking pissed when we had to have physical training ( sprinting 400-300-200-100m and vice versa with timing) just after our freaking timed 2.4km run... I dont know bout them but I wanted to cry... Hahaha.... Oh and the times we fell flat in front of different audiences... And how training when other CCAs were around was soo pressurizing... My goshh.... Its just fun being around them I wish the other teamates could be around too... We all changed physically ( ahems) haha but inside we're still lame and noisy and full of zest... =) Thank you for taking time off girls!


Nurul is singing my fav fav fav song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



"The Way You Look Tonight"


Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.

You're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fears apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
Touches my foolish heart.

Yes you're lovely, never, ever change
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it?
'Cause I love you
Just the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fears apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
Touches my foolish heart.

Yes you're lovely, never, ever change
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it?
'Cause I love you
Just the way you look tonight.
Just the way you look tonight.
Darling
Just the way you look tonight.


I love the song lah.... Its a classic....( I have problems with Jacintha's comments. She sounds like she's unsure of her comments herself.)

I love today's episode and I dont think I need to say why... =)

Anyway I think I have a problem with consoling people and making them open up to me... Or maybe I shouldnt worry about that because if they want to they will? I dont know... But I really would want them to know that Im always here for them each and everyone of my best friends whenever they need some good listening ear anytime anywhere... I just feel weird but I cant reallly explain it... Sometimes I feel like they hate me or maybe think that I cant ever be serious... Maybe? But maybe its also a cover up on my part... Im damn dumb sometimes you know... I notice things but I dont know how to reach out to them...

I need 15k....

Went for PBM's interview on Tuesday... Haha all I can say is that my Malay sucks (shameshame) and Im soo soo bad at articulating my thoughts...

Talking bout that maybe thats my main problem! Im brought up to just be patient and take it all in... I guess that's why on my part its hard for me to open up to others too but I dont mind... .

My hair smells darn good now... Hehehe...

I want to eat eat eat cupcakes!!! I need to start trying out recipes now... I dont know bout the other four but Im bent on materialising Project Rainbow at least at sometime in my life!!!!!!!!!!


I hate bidding and I hate the sight of the NUS website...

YESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT ALL MY THREE ECONS MODULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im only happy because I dont need to waste points fullstop...Hahaha...

Blogger is being such a bitch with the fonts...


Anyways I dont know what else to bid for.... Hate hate bidding my gosh...

Ok im gonna go pray now...Tooodles!!

=)

CCûPCAKES

Garfield!

Basically I have a lot of things to update about whats been happening this week but I couldnt earlier due to some problems with wireless network (and the damned Trojan in the system which is still in here!!!) . But anyways I shall begin with those I have the freshest memories of and thats today! Ok yesterday actually since its past midnight already....

Beach outing! But without Di who's super tired from her orientation camp and Su who's still at UCLA there wasnt as much fun BUT we made do! Went to Coastes at Sentosa's beach... We were suppose to dress up today and wear nice flow-y dresses or tops to make it extra fun !Haha ok but anyways it was raining super heavily from the time we got lost till the time we settled down (thank god I know)... Wanted to go to KM8 but there was a private function there so heck it! (those we did comtemplate with blending in for the food while striking up conversations like "So how's the finance department doing? " Oh it was CitiGroup's private function btw) . So anyway off we went back to Coastes after 48923748239 hrs of trying to find Pahlawan Beach... Haha .... Ate ICB pizza ( no Diyanah so can eat prawns! haha), potato wedges with garlic mayo and Aglio Oglio (how to spell?) with Tiger Prawns and Chilli Flakes ( delicious!!! but the tiger prawns were more like shrimps)... And of course drank homemade ice lemon tea which came in a Baccardi bottle... The irony of it.. Haha.... Anyways the second cacat part of the day had to be when we started playing card games... We played daidi, blackjack,bluff and our newly invented game Odd One Out! (yes it comes with the exclamation mark because you will have to shout) Its super cacat and impromptu and funny.... After the whole games and eat(x847826471689320748091748) we decided to take the tram rides of which I felt like I was going to get thrown off any moment... What are the chains at the side for mans... And for the last ride the engin was justtttttt behind us so you can imagine how deaf we got... Hahaaha.... Then Asi dropped us off at Raffles City where we window shopped a bit... Basically today was such a fun,cooling,slack,relaxing day.... Its one of those rare moments in which I cant believe Im not stressed up about anything... And thank you girls for all the gifts.... I know they were handpicked with much love... =)

To di, faster recuperate then we meet ok Wednesday hopefully!

To su, hang in there sweets you will always be in our prayers... Keep my words in mind ok... You know what they are...*hugs*

Guess whose?Hehe...These are the chocs from Sarah... So sweet right! I dont mind if you keep showing your love to us through more love! CHOCOLATES! Haha...

This is a bar of chocolate soap from Asi... Dark chocolate somemore! Haha... Seriously Cocoa Island and Africa and South America or is it North and Cambodia and Laos and Europe! =)

NUSMS seniors and juniors...

FOC COMM!

Marketing Comm! (minus pans-ami and banban)

K2p Boys...
Seeing Triple? ( Supposedly all three of us look alike... There were like 4839264728 people in NUS who mistook each other for each other...from left aisyah,tuty,me...Only Tuty and I are related...That also we found out just last sem at a wedding...Haha)

Anyways the MS Appreciates was fantastic! Million thanks to the seniors for doing that for US... =) Food was good company was even better! And the 'movie' was sweet... Had to exchange certs cos those given out werent ours so supposedly had to find the person whose cert we were holding on to and coincidentally Naufal had mine and I his... (Shut up yana and sam! Kors dies to bes ins mys pos rites?) Hahahaha.... Oh ya I thought the cert was creatively made... Thanks!




And how can I forget the date with the JJ princesses ( if either of us get married we're supposed to put crowns at this table haha) The whole meeting was kinda rushed though sadly for I'd love to get it out of Fana...Hahahaah..... Ah shall miss them shitloads when sch starts....


Im triply scared for myself this coming semester... I have tons to do thats for sure and I really have to majorly work on improving my CAPS... I am scared yes I am... SHIT lah.... How did people do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im so scared that everytime I think bout it (which means the thought will come up at the most random times in my head) Ill get pissed at the person in which Im talkin to which happens to always be Aidil... Urrghhh Im so f**king stressed up and my heart will like contract everytime I think bout it.... I dont know I just feel like even when I study soo hard I stilll get shitty grades lah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UUUUUUURRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH I know its cos Im not doing it correctly but then whattttt iss the right way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHUT UP YOU!!

I want cupcakes...



I DONT CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I SAID I WANT MEANS I WANT LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



STUPID IDIOT!!!!








Ignore me... Its only in my blog that I can throw tantrums ok...Go try it for yourself at your own blogs.. Hahahahah giler!



Haiyaaa..... Why am I worrying..I should be psyched up...I am lah..Just that Im scared it'll give me back-to-square-one-results.... Bods....



Anyways me and Andy was talking about oxymorons just now... There's this para he gave me to spot all the oxymorons inside but I stupidly closed the window before saving it.... Haiya.........First person I know who's fascinated with oxymorons... Haha OH ya!!!!!!! I think he's like the first in NUS at least to have a 1hr ish long interview with the vice deans lah!! Even the clerk was like "Thats a first!" ... I thought either he had to do an essay (typical s'poreans) or he was slaughtered.... But luckily he got it.... Haha....


And a funny chat with Sue...Hehehehehehehehe and Este yesterday online...Heheheheheheeh.....


My neck hurts...Im typing while lying down...I know its a stupid thing to do but...but there's no buts lah!



Idiot again!



Hahahahhahahhaha........



Ok this is a mighty long entry...I guess thats all from me now folks! Im pretty sure Ive left things out which Ill only discover like later later later later on when I cant log in again.... Bagus....


Ok loves good nights sweet dreams!!

*hugs*

big one to su!


*Hugs*!!!


Edit// I got a letter from Muhaj! Its so pretty! Cos he drew for me a padi field with people working on it and birds and clouds and sun and even a Garuda Airline.... I miss them all!!!!!!!!

JE SUIS MORT

THERE'S SO MANY MODULE REQUIREMENTS THAT I CANT MAJOR IN PEACE LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE..GET THIS..

4 MODULES FOR FACULTY REQUIREMENTS

5 UNRESTRICTED ELECTIVES

1 CROSS FACULTY MODULE

LEFT STILL TO BE FULFILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 OF WHICH I WILL TAKE WHEN AIDIL MATRICULATES IN....

HOW TO GRADUATE IN TIME!!!!!!

I STILL HAVE MAJOR REQUIREMENT!!!!!!!!!!!

DIEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dreamalittledreamofme

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "i love you"
Birds singin’ in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me
While I’m alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I’m longin’ to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me


I love this song! Its one of those songs which will make you feel warm and fuzzy inside on a rainy day...Some others are Bublé's 'You Look Wonderful Tonight', 'La Vie En Rose'... And of course some Indo songs... Hahaha see lah hang out too much with Atikkkkkkkk-wanita-melayu-terakhir.... AHAKZ...Hahhaha....

Ok sorry diverted... Anyways not as if its raining as I was listening to Dream A Little Dream Of Me but you knoww its a feel good song...Just to brighten up your day and to lift your spirits up...=)

Have I mentioned that today's post mortem session was just fun? Ok fine so welfare left earlier (SUPER SORRY PEOPLE!!) but Im actually talking bout the logistics part...The clearing up of stuffs... We were soooo kecoh! And I really mean K-E-C-O-H with capital everything...Hahaha... We all should have an outing together!! Like dinner or something I dont care just to have fun and not talk bout 'work' only ok?? Ok I dont think any of the comm members read my blog sooo I shall email later...Haha ( note: semangat) ...


Managed a few hours of rushed shopping with Sue and Este! I think we were glad it was only for a few hours right? Hahaha but it was funnnn we should do it like every semester... Hello one more after all your other camps....=) Was très fun!


I was just listennin to Rihanna's Unfaithful... Correct me if Im wrong but its the first song of its kind to talk bout cheating on a person and to actually regret it when thinkin bout the other party's feelings.....Hmmm and it came from a girl... My one and only experience (hopefully!) with infidelity (minus the sex part) was like HORRIBLE I cant even begin to describe it.... It took me months to get over it the first time round ( I shant even mention how it happened you wont believe it) only to get me into it alll over again it with the same idiot ( I know Im dumb)..... But I bounced back right up I guess thank GOD... We're even good friends now... Things really happen for a reason I tell youu...

Anyway I wonder who are my blog readers....Oh wells...Hope each and everyone of you enjoy me entries..=)

Sarah's back! Faster Asi and Su come back!!!!!!!! I miss all of you sooo muchh!

I really regret that some people didnt enjoy the night walk...Cos I thought it was quite an experience...Like being in a ghost movie...I guess we just werent prepared for the extreme... Esp me to be attacked by Mr Haireez.... Gosh....

bfhruefvbnrjdkmsbdjnskxbdcjnksmxzjndkxz........................


Oh well I do wish I can make it up to that girl by sth one way or another...


My cat is blocking half of my laptop view...........Im bored I just have to blog.....Was reading Kamie's entries...Apa dah jadi to her!!!!!!!!! Hahahaah so sweettt....

I wonder what people (who dont know me) think I am like as they read my entries..

Hello anonymous whoooooooooo are you?

And I actually miss Nabilla....Nab how are you?? Where are youu?? I wont be seeing you much next semester cos Im not gonna take French 3 so where are youu??? =(

And I havent called my dad...Im such a LOOOOOSAAAA....


Im going to take 3 econs modules next semester and now I have Faizola Kamie Ruz and Salmah with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yayyy!!! *Clinks* to our A+s together!! =))

OK bye people!!! Love yall!

Turquoise

Firstly can I say that I miss my comm...Even though I dont think I hung arnd much after camp duties I still miss them....Handling with food IS SUPER TIRING CAN! Especially with having to wake up at 6 every morning...Im so not a morning person lah!

Secondly... I experienced such a bad day today... But I know my bad day cannot be comparent to the bad days experienced by the kids in Aceh...I lost soo much money due to my own negligence....Dammit... Ok not soo much but I have this thing with wasting resources which couldve been used otherwise...One such example is food....But no Im not talking about food....I hate some taxi drivers....Today's bad day ended with the ultimate of the ultimate...I kinda am less pissed bout it now but I soo am going to deal with it once its terang later on...

I cant believe she traded that for that.... Its lke the lasts left of my dad in the house...I cant say much because we know whats gonna come out during one of those days... Hais Im especially sad because I chose that on one of those times we went furniture shopping together.... Which will NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.... I miss having a full family.... I mean its never the same again... We're trying to deny that it is possible with one down but its not and it'll never be.... I know things happen for a reason and Im grateful to have realised them and I appreciate them but still.....I miss him... I dont know where he is now...What he is doing...Perhaps I shall give him a call tmrw...But what shall I say? Its so weird..........................

Ok stop thinking bout it Diana...

Anyways Im so grateful to Aidil for accompanying me home if not I'd have fainted or sth...And grandma's stall was packed giler....Whats up with Downtown East mans....I dont understand how the crowds work...I saw that cute guy again...This time with a girl ahh...Hahaha funnyy funnnyy.....

I wanted to sleep when I got home but found Este and Sue darling online sooooo ape lagi! But really realllyy happy that they enjoyed the campp...=) Cant wait to tell my Reperio team on Monday!!!!!!! Kita nak pergi shopping!!! Sorry by invitation only and invitation's full....Hahahaha...

Oh and I really really really really hope Andy gets through mans.... I cant believe he went through all that...Goodness I have lots to learn....


Sometimes I wonder what Im turning into... Sometimes I feel like Im consumed by my material wants due to tooooo much influence and pressure by people to conform to the norms...NOOOOOOOOOOO....... I find it increasingly hard to be true to myself now...Hey why am I telling people this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ive learnt soooo much this hols... Ive done things I thought I never would... Ive tried new things... Continued doing old favourites... Made new friends....Met up with old.. ( Except my minah kampungs and ruggies!!!!OI!) ...... Its so exciting.... I am psyched up for the future with this new found determination and mindset insyallah....=) And not to forget new goals.... Ive learnt some new things bout nyself...The road to self discovery is never ending...I think I do surprise myself sometimes...Heeee...Yayyy!! Hope this determination stays unfaltering...=)

I miss Aidil.....Hehehe....Oh damnit remind me to ask him bout the cactus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gave him this cactus when we were just friends...Which was in Sec 4.... So far till now...It's still alive! Well the last time I asked was a few mths ago lah.... I wonder if it is still...Hahah...If it is then it's been about 4 yrs now...Long live Cactus...Hahahah...

I have yet to treat my mum for her birthday....Have to wait for so many people!!! Maybeee GOD really wants me to go Vansh lah! Hahahah so funny!!! Somehow I alwyas seem to find the reasons behind why things dont work out or rather work the way they do in my life...Hahahah....

I want to get that JC Gola Rainbow shoes againnnn.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This time with Este and Sue! Hahahah Go Gays!

Ok Im gonna tuck in now...Sleeping before 2 with full energy restored has been a luxury to me which is why Im still awake now...Ive only lost 1.5kg after the camp...Oh mon dieu! I bet Ive formed muscles too....Confirm...All that carrying of cannisters and walking back and forth from The Deck to Eusoff ( The stupid staircase is a nightmare) and the likes..... TOTALLY! Hahahahah.....Kan Naddie!?


OK lah people!! Toodles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wowwwww long entryy....Loves you all okk.....Hugs!!

Camp Reperio Academic Year 06/07

It says 'Econs Graduate'... A moment in pretence...=)

Welcome to my 'world'...

The Welfare Girls! Always behind the food people....

This is what happens when you get very lil amount of sleep...(Crooning to Backstreet Boys)

The darling who came 'all the way' to keep me company through my station master duty during the Fright Night...It was till 3plus am okkk....=)

Again lack of sleep! Haha...

Hantu in sneakers! TOTALLY!

Miss Poch Puteh...

Grand Finale @ Labrador Park aka Kampung Seraya of which I was Melur for the night....

The Reperio Committee clad in full kampong kebaya plus batik uni...

Tok Penghulu ( Haron) and Din ( Syaban) welcoming the freshies with balas-pantuning...

Fazli doing the silat and the kompang girls...

Dayang-dayangs

Dikir was the highlight of all performances!!! Will upload it once I get it from Hafie!!!

Freshies

Helpers and Com members

Most Favourite Freshies

The End...=)


I slept for 17 hours straight once I got home after I got my first proper meal in 4 days...Thats how tired me and I bet the other comm members are!

Of course there were ups and downs... There were times when I felt soo presurrized by things I did or did not do that I just broke down.... Silently of course... A huge thanks to Aidil for picking up my desperate calls....

The ups were very euphoric too for example the Grand Finale when the girls in the comm had to double up as dayangs or 'waitresses' as we call it to the respective OGs... The OGs were seated in their respective jalans or lanes at our very own Kampung Seraya... I was in charge of Jalan Pisang.... I was touched when one of the freshies said that the service is good... Its little things like that which made my already super tiring day... Not forgetting the damn tight kebaya-batik outfit and having to walk barefooted!!! Haha.....

My welfare talk was I guess damn boring and dry for the freshies BUT I know they'll come calling us for help especially during bidding... *evil laughs* Heheh...

The comm members came to a new high during the final hours of the camp.... Especially the logistic guys! They were super funny!! Reminded me of the mats whom I havent seen in a while... The last cheers of each OG were humorous too!! Sth happened which got the morale of the freshies down which really pissed me and Ruz esp but that didnt stop the rest of us though... So I guess its okk.... We were all in tears as we said our final goodbyes and apologies....

This has been an EXPERIENCE Im happy I got myself into despite it all... I think alll the comm members got much closer together as friends and also with the seniors....Each and every one of us played an equally important part in this and we've experienced our own 'bad' moments in the camp.... Im sorry if Ive hurt anyone of you and thank you for all the covering ups and for putting your best foot forward and giving your all... We know it wasnt easy so thanks again...=)

Anyway Ive just realised that I didnt get a decent picture taken with my fellow makan person Salmah!

And Nadiah!


There's so much more that I want to say bout the camp but somehow I cant get it out of me....

On the other hand today marks our 43rd months together.... 3yrs 7mths....Thank YOU for everything darling.... Thank you for always being there for me... I know Ive said that sooo many times but its something I cant thank you enough of... Loves youuuuu....=) Ohh thanks for the RED flowers today...Heee....=)



Im glad I slacked at home today with Aidil watching DVDs and gobbling on pizzas and durians!

Well basically the stress isnt over yet... Just settling on a date and time and venue for KKO's post mortem is a chore... Urrgh! Not that Im the one doing it... Maybe I should.... Goodness....

Highly emotional! Totally not me larrr....Ape nii!!!! Anyway it feels like Ive been on a long 4 day holiday or something... Totally out of touch with the rest of the world....

Oh YA!! The MS exco and the PBM exco presented us with a cake and chocolates and cards!! Thanks!!

nceuwifhyihdbncbvfjdkcmxkljdshxbhnmdsichxhbnmfh......

Ok bye .....

Edit//

If you wanna learn how to pack in case you want to set up a mee goreng shop,
If you want to unconsciously lose weight,
If you want to learn bas steng,
If you want to get crazy for a cause,
If you want to be a rockstar,
If you want to be labelled a bimbo for a cause,
If you want to be labelled the grouchy food server,
If you want to be a ghost,
If you want to learn new languages,
If you want to _____,

You should've been involved in Camp Reperio!

P.S. To those who wants to add please tag me... We were talking bout this list while packing mee goreng rite? Hahaha Damn I forgot like most of it!

The World Cup is over...SO sad!!!! Its been such an experience for me....

Ok bye!

Malam.....

HAPPY 43RD BIRTHDAY TO MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=)

After waiting for a gazillion years we finally got the video done! Yay!! A million thanks to all those who cancelled their plans to come and help me and nad with it... Thank you thank you thank youuu I super appreciate it although I think none of you read my blog... Haha oh I shall just email later... Anyway meeting today was ubber long... From approximately five till ten BUT the last parts were the best... Haha and funny... I CANT WAIT TO EXECUTE THAT PLAN!!!! (To juniors..Not telling!! Hahah) Loves the comm...=)

See how messy our table are and how stressed we look...Tsk tsk....

Anyways! Today was also commencement day!!! So there were sooo many in their robes and mortar boards walking around... Saw the Arts and Medicine people... Oh manss Im so scared! I wanna get the extra sash for honours students!!! But Im soo dumb.... I cant even get second lower honours with my current grades! I just realised that Im one of the stupidest in NUS seeing that I barely made it there with my grades... So technically I didnt deprove BUT so what!!! It doesnt mean I cant be one of the tops! Right? Haha I sound like Im trying to convince myself... So tak jadi... Oh whatever... As long as Ive tried my best.... But....Have I? Shut up Diana...

Point is...I cant wait to graduate! OK dah...

I havent chosen my modules sehh! Ape ni!!! Must do stupid module preference exercise asapppp.................................



Hidung besar mata besar mulut besar muka kecik....Ape ape lah eh Aidil... Oh ego pun besar... Hahaha.... I will miss him for the 4 days Ill be in school... Him and Garfield... We've talked almost every day since Sec 4... And we've gone through quite a few very important phases together... A bit of sec school, JC( totally!), NS(hahahaha !),half of uni( this we have to wait till HE COMES IN).... SOO fun! Uh-huh... Hahaha.....


My mum got new sofas which sounds like it'll feel nice and comfy but I dont like the colour and I dont think it'll suit with a lot of colours and the tiles on the floor...Urrghhhh I hate mismatched colours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ape seh! But at least it'll be new and comfy... I guess you take some you lose some lahhhhhhhhh..... Alamaks...

I have a cool MAC layout for my laptop! Its just for like 16 days lah trial thingy .... Quite interesting... Pseudo-MAC cans.... And I changed my firefox skin! Very furry... I just showed my brother... Tak guner...

Just now ASI messaged mee!!!!! I miss her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And SU and DI and SARAH(of whom is the new Ms Shady)... Ape seh Im the only one stuck in Spore but not complaining.... I rather have my family and cat and Aidil with me.... I always have this mindset that I can die anywhere anytime so I want to be around them when that happens...

Ok basically I miss my friends...

I think Kate Bosworth(is that how you spell it?) looks like Siti Nurhaliza...


OK good night darlings....

Muahs!

C'est tout????????

Im damn stressed right now...

Urrgh...

Its times like this when I wish I didnt have to be so independant...

Im possibly just PMS-ing... I miss the minahs who're all overseas...And the princesses who're I gues busy with their private lives...

Went for the FOC mock camp... It was SUPER tiring!!!!!!!!!

Basically we had NUS games and the Fright night for the first day... T'was fun doing my station with Dayah and Arly and Salmah and Hafie and Di and Ainne... Since we had to wait for a gazillion yrs before they reached our station we decided to order MACS! Totally sempat lah... And Salmah had to comment that we were eating like there's no tomorrow...Well I think its only me and you Salmah! And since we were scared (of ourselves) we listened to songs from Atikk's laptop and and sang to it... The funniest part was of course when EO decided to join us and our masks...( No need to explain in case some juniors are reading!) Heee....


Basically we only didnt sleep at all cos after debrief AND the Germs-Italians' match we had bout 1hr before reporting time... Then had to go around Singapore!!!!!!! Its a mind over body affair for all of us and for most of us our minds went out of hand (How Ironic!)... Ok so sadly I had to leave early for tuition but I heard GF was really good so kudos to that committee! =)


I wont even attempt to talk bout the semi's matches... For the first match, Germs and Italy, I wasnt suppporting any but just like the majority I thought Germs would win through penalty kicks but NOO! But Italy played really well... I mean I know their defence is like of top notch quality but their attacks was super good too! Both were equally good...Both had same amount of attacks... Oh wells...So its Italy and France at the end...( Wont even talk bout the second match !) The world cup is soon over...Somehow Im a bit sad...


Im so sleepy now but I have religious class later so how? Im trying to avoid coffee because I dont want to be immune by caffeine...Else how to survive when school starts...


Im so stressed up now but I think the rest in the committee is more stressed up than I am and Im so random now I bet till this point none of you are reading already...


"5hb Julai hari Rabu
Mock camp kita telah berlalu.
Komiti Repario tetap bersatu,
Pergilah rehatkan mata dan badanmu,
Ingin ku kata gua caya sama lu"

- Salmah

She's how sweet right!

Organising camps are tough... Esp when it comes to mock camps not that Ive done many...


Anyways I miss Aidil.....I cant wait for bidding to start and be over... I hate hate hate hate bidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh I am ultra ngantuk.... I want Bublé...

Im feeling so stressed up...HELPPPPPPPP!!!!

I dont think its only the camp... Hais... I can forget bout writing it down here...

OK bye people....

there she goes again

Loves him=)

Anyway

Im all angsty now so dont piss me off... Dont take my ignorance for indifference... Dont take my silence for granted... Dont play around with my trust and friendship...
Friends come and go... People change they dont stay the same... Or maybe they werent a friend at all in the first place... Isnt it wrong to judge whom you call a friend yet you cant help but judge through certain actions of others... I honour my friends... But why dont some honour me they same way I do them? Sometimes when you get too close to someone you let them take charge or you... I think some people are just jealous of me for god-knows-what-I-dont-know ... Instead of letting me help them which I will so gladly do... They take advantage of this and bitch behind my back... You really think Im worth bitching about accumulating all those sins which couldve been avoided? I dont think so...

That said I truly am grateful for the very few genuine friends that I have... Then again if you think again can you actually say that you're a genuine friend of someone you say you are genuine to?

Why do people have to lie to themselves to make themselves feel good? Does it even serve to help them? Or do they lie to that question also... One thing Ive learnt all these years is to be truthful to yourself and to know your own capabilities... Dont lie to yourself... Dont....

La Vache Qui Rit

My cat eats la frommage ( read above)...Damn sibok...

The days after KKO had been really fun and fulfilling...

First up was shopping with Aidil! We havent shopped till we 'dropped' for like forever...

In fact I dont think we've dont that before.....Haha gundu...

So we went from Zara to Zara to ZARA!! The sale's going on and everything's so nice and all but obviously due to the scarcity of money on our part we got 3 pieces each..3 really good deals after like 48293576849265420hrs of thinking... Haha damn calculative sia....

Anyway it didnt stop at Zara lah...We went everywhere sampai kaki macam nak patah... Ended the day with Tom Yum Soup...


Oh we actually wanted to go JB but my mum wasnt too keen on the idea so tidak apa lah..

Yesterday or rather this morning I ran to the mosque as usual cos woke up late as usual and to the horrors of horrors IT WAS PACKED! The day I decide to go alone it was freaking packed... But obviously I wasnt gonna care because I just took a chair and walked right up to the front and sat in front of the huge screen...(of course I checked if I was blocking anyone lah)..

Anyways that game started off slow and whats up with the Argentines falling... And when they're in their side there's like 1 Argentine to 3i92174382647325468273 Germs... But the game picked up soon after.... The two teams really fight like mad... Whats up with not putting Messi in?! Anyways when it was sudden death time I knew the Germs would geddit... I mean the Argentines were just unlucky that their first goalie was injured... The sub goalie was a bit off... Not only that he didnt catch the ball... He always get tricked into diving at the wrong side... BoooHoo... I'd love for them to win...


Tonight's matches are exciting!!! Its gonna be my first Portugal match actually... I want Brazil to kick France's behinds...

Im ultra tired... Went to Arab Street with mum to get raya's kains... Didnt get same colour but got same design... I better drink my coffee soon in case it doesnt wake me up on time...


Random...


There are also other unfavourable 'events' which upset me terribly...When I think bout it they all point to the same cause... Hypocrisy Betrayal by those whom I consider good friends ( those whom I gave another chance to, those whom I gave my most sincere self everytime, those whom I thought will never do this to me and I cant find the reason why they do for I have nothing to give) and family ( this I cant even begin)... The fact that Im upset means I care... I guess you guys dont... So why bother right? Even if I were to 'confront' and 'demand' an explanation just bubbles will come out... I dont understand I really dont... Your assumption gave it away...


Anyone wants to get Germs' footwear ( Birkis',Papillios',Betulas' etc.) at almost 50% off? Approach me on MSN or email me at anaidz16@hotmail.com... I need to collect people...

Ok toodles bubbles!